A Much Needed Date Night because of Two Weeks of Adversity

 After a few hours at the Santa Maria Library, we decided to go the Santa Maria Town Center (or otherwise known as the Santa Maria Mall). Now compared to other malls that I've been to, this one is on the very small side of malls. But there were still good things about it all.

One, it had felt like a very long time since we had actually gone on a one on one date. It isn't totally true, but there is very little time where it is just me and Sarah by ourselves these days. We walked in and first off went to the their Little Tokyo store. Sarah didn't know that I knew a tiny bit about One Piece (the anime). Then we went to the cowboy store and we joked about me getting a cowboy hat and a very ornate belt. Especially because I need a belt really bad, but I don't need a hat. I asked Sarah what she would think if I got an Ornate Mexican Cowboy Belt and if she would think I was going through an identity crisis. She saw some cute shirts with ruffles at the collar.

I signed her in to Samsung Health and after going to the bathroom we walked some mor around the mall. Because of the Japanese store we thought about Adina, and because of Orange Julius, we thought about Julius, and I was like in the first few minutes of being there we had thought of Lisa's two kids.

We passed by the entrance again and noticed that there was a Wetzel's Pretzel's and so we picked up two, a Sinful Cinnamon, and a Pizza Pretzel. We sat at the prison chairs and we talked and read journal entries about our first date and about our proposal date. This was really good for us because the last two and half weeks have been really stressful between us, so remembering the good times while also eating pretzels was a win-win.

We went upstairs and checked out all the murals.

We also went to the video game store and checked out all the cool things in the shop.

Like I was saying, these past 2 and half weeks have been stressful. Mainly because of me and my unbelief or faithlessness in my ability to get a job. Or find something that I want to do. Because of it we have been getting into spats, mostly because I've been getting defensive and because I don't want to do anything when all I want is to do everything.

I'm having a hard time, and in turn, Sarah's been having a hard time. A hard time believing and trusting in the Lord. While we were watching Marcus, I had Brother John come to minister to me. He gave me a blessing and showed me compassion by listening to my hard and stressful feelings about what has been going on. I shared that I have been having a hard time trusting in God's timetable and plan for me. He reminded me of the scriptures of Nephi and the Brother of Jared and their journeys to the Promised Land. He also reminded me that in my talk I had said that I felt led by God to be here so I should trust in that reassurance.

Later that week, we went to go deliver food to the Wyett's for her recovery from eye surger, and while there, Brother Wyett gave me advice (without knowing it til I told him) that God provides miracles at the time that we need them. To trust in Him and His timing. He told us the story about how he got his house in Orcutt, and how it was such a miracle.

And then yesterday, we went on a walk with the Buzards and I transparently told Joel that I was having a hard time because I'm looking for work. He told me that he had so many jobs that he had to struggle with and whenever he was in that situation he felt he had to pray, at least two times a day stating to Heavenly Father what he needed and wanted, and Heavenly Father was able to manifest the right job to him.

This is similar to some counsel that I received from Cytel Schults, that I need to write down every day what I want so that way it is clear to me what it is that I am seeking after, and I don't need to be bombarded by the wants of others.

Joel was very compassionate and he is a really nice person. I'm excited to be his friend.

Anyways, I've been working to work on myself emotionally and to work with Heavenly Father so that I can get out of my erroneous beliefs about myself and unkindness towards myself. It isn't easy, as I have negative thoughts about my situation all the time. But another thing that Cytel told me is that I need to think about the simplest things that I am steady in, instead of telling myself what things I am not steady in.